Now, there are two things that the celebtastic of the world really seem to love: flashing their ladyparts to the paps' zoom lenses as they emerge from cabs, and hawking shitty products. If you've ever seen Hulk Hogan's ballachingly bad commercial for Honey Nut Cheerios, or Mr. T selling microwave ovens on the shopping channel, you'll know what I mean.
When this tendency –not the ladyparts-flashing, the other one– hits the world of video games, some real weirdery results. In the past, we've seen such wonderment as Michael Jackson's Moonwalker, a scrolling beat ‘em up in which the musical legend beats his foes down with dance moves. But this? I think we have a new winner. Buckle up and feast your eyes.
You don't have to have any knowledge of soccer to know that this dude is Cristiano Ronaldo, ace of the Portuguese national team. Natch, he too wants his smarmy face plastered on every form of merchandise possible, and now there's a Ronaldo-flavored mobile game in the works. Which you'd think would be some kind of simplistic soccer-y affair.
But nope. Nuts to that. That'd make far too much sense. Instead, he's teaming up with beloved children's character Hugo the Troll (whoever the effing hell that is) for an endless runner. Yes indeed.
I've no idea how this came to pass either, but here it is. Kotaku reports that the whole thing centers around Ronaldo fleeing from the relentless attentions of Paparazzi Pete. On skateboards. While completely ripping off Subway Surfers. But hell, the developers seem enthusiastic:
"We achieved more than 25 million downloads of the first mobile games starring Hugo the Troll, thanks to great games and a strong brand. We have no doubt that Hugo the Troll has the potential to become the world's greatest gaming character – especially with Cristiano Ronaldo at his side," quoth the press release.
Piss-takery aside, Hugo is quite well known down Europe way. I just can't see how the concept of these two together came about. Just… wha… Hugo the Troll and Cristiano Ronaldo?
Via Kotaku.
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