Johnny Depp Is The New Face Of Dior’s Dude Parfum And He Looks Really Happy About It

On the list of “Things You Think Should Be The Face Of A Fragrance,” Johnny Depp falls dead last right under “a drunk hobo’s 65-year-old coat that has been pissed on by a bunch of asparagus-eating cats.” But for some reason, Diodor picked Johnny Depp and to introduce him as the face of their dude scent, they chose a greasy picture of him looking like he just cut a nasty one and is trying to blame it on you. Dior squirted up this release:

Today, the house of Dior is pleased to announce Johnny Depp as the face of a new men’s fragrance to be unveiled in September. We take a look at the career path of a highly singular actor.

He has been cinema’s most famous pirate, Jack Sparrow, and the alter ego of the poet William Blake in Dead Man, on the run in the American west. He has been the rookie cop from 21 Jump Street and the bad boy of Cry-Baby; the fantastical creature Edward Scissorhands and a man caught up with the reality of his past in Arizona Dream.

For three generations of viewers, Johnny Depp is an utterly unique Hollywood icon, capable of taking on all roles, from the most realistic characters to the most fantastic figures dreamed up by Tim Burton, and as comfortable in front of the camera of such cutting-edge auteurs as Emir Kusturica or Jim Jarmusch as he is in global blockbusters like Pirates of the Caribbean. Which new character will this legendary actor be playing for Dior? You'll have to wait until September to find out!

Hmmm… I can think of two reasons why Dior went with the Yorkie smuggler:

1. Their new men’s perfume smells like a mixture of a wet ashtray, a bar-back’s end-of-the-night bin, the blood of an Australian customs official, a tub of cottage cheese that has been left in the backseat of a car in the middle of August, dried neck sweat stuck to an Alexander McQueen scarf and a gallon of boiling armpit foam. In other words, it smells better than half of the colognes out there.

2. Dior wants everyone to know that their new parfum is so strong that it can mask Johnny Depp’s not-so-natural stank!

Dlisted

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