If you squint real hard and say “I want to believe” repeatedly, you can kind of see Gillian Anderson’s nipples – Drunken Stepfather
Ben Affleck should probably send Caitlyn Jenner an Edible Arrangement as a thank you for taking the heat off of the alleged adventures of his roving peen – Lainey Gossip
Um, Dr. Ruth, can we stop this rape talk and go back to you showing us how chin dildos work. I like that. Oh wait, that’s Sue Johanson. Why am I always confusing my old lady sex experts?! – The Superficial
Bad news for all you 20-something skinny swimsuit and lingerie models who were really hoping to bump up against Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s FUPA full-time, he’s got a steady girlfriend now, apparently. Try again next year. No, really, try again next year, because he’ll be looking for a new trick by then – Celebitchy
Abby Lee Miller is terrorizing children in L.A. now – Reality Tea
And the reporter who accidentally tweeted “Queen Elizabrth’s” death was never heard from or seen again – Jezebel
Coming out: Sir Ian McKellen recommends it! – Towleroad
Megan Fox is working Brit Brit’s “Hit Me Baby One More Time” schoolgirl outfit again and this was totally Michael Bay’s idea, right? – Hollywood Tuna
Scott Eastwood is topless a lot and I don’t mind at all – Popsugar
Kate Hudson pairs one of Goldie Hawn’s old dresses from the 70s with “just got back from the gym” hair – Popoholic
Kim Kartrashian’s fetus (or fetuses) should get used to it, because for the next few months they’ll be suffocated in Spanx and latex – IDLYITW
Here’s Jessica Simpson doing an impersonation of you on a Friday night – WWTDD
Our Lady of Cheetos probably did that Wade Robson dude and another dancer in the 90s. “I KNEW IT!” said the 90s teenager in you – OMG Blog
Stephen Colbert shaved off his Santa beard and someone will definitely fap to this – SOW
Kim Richards is not returning to the real Witch Mountain (aka The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) – HuffPo
The hell kind of shit is Ian Somerhalder on? (SPOILER ALERT: He’s on some shit called Ian Somerhalder) – ICYDK
Jude Law has a new piece – Just Jared
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